This I believe

I believe deeply that Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free. The meaning of this belief is fairly straight forward and not hard to interpret and understand. Actually, it comes from one of my favorite movies “The Shawshank Redemption“. Let me first tell the story of how it became my belief and why I have been stick to it for so long.

Two years ago, on August 15th, 2010, I step on the plane that headed to United States, a country I have never been before. It was my first time for me to leave home, family and friends for a long time. I was nervous, excited, and also curious about a country which I have only saw and heard on TV and newspapers. I have no known friends and relatives here; I knew from then on, everything is on myself. Even though I was already 18 years old and I have imagined and prepared for this new life for quite a long time, I was still scared when I enter a completely new world. Language is different; food is different; culture is different; everything is entirely different. There was not enough time for me to get used to the new environment. As the new semester began, I suddenly felt more pressure and stressful. Since I was still not used to do everything in English, it took me forever to read and write. I had a Psychology class at that time, which requires lots of reading and writing. Maybe now, that amount of assignments is just a piece of cake. At that time, however, it took me 2 hours to read the textbook that other people can finish reading in 30 minutes. The worst part is that I totally screwed up on the first exam; I got a D. That was the lowest score I have ever had until now. When I saw the score on Compass website, I was completely crashed. I wanted to cry and I felt so lost in the world. Actually, when I recalled this experience now, I feel a little funny about my reaction at that time. It was not a big deal at all. However, it triggered my serious homesick and made me feel so depressed. I always said to myself, “Your parents are paying the triple tuition for you to come to US, but you just get this kind of grade! How shame you are!” I cannot tell my parents because I did not want them to worry. I pretended to be positive and happy when video chatting with them. I felt so tired and I thought I have almost reached my breaking point.

I watched lots of movies during those days and tried to make myself relaxed. One day, I watched this famous movie “The Shawshank Redemption”. It is a movie about change, hope, and power. I watched it several times later then I find my favorite line “Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free.”, which later became my Motto and belief. I realized that fear and anxious cannot help me at all, while hope can. I should always believe that there is infinite hope in my life and I should carry it with me all the time. I should not feel frustrated about failures and I shall believe there are lots of beautiful things waiting for me in the future. Inspired from that, I went to talk to the professor and got lots of advice, I came back home and studied harder. Finally, I got the 3rd top grade in the final exam and I got an A- in that class. Even though I still didn’t get an A in the end, I learned something precious for my whole life. I learned how to build and appreciate hope. I learned that fear cannot do anything for me while hope can send me to success.